Our God Prepares, is Present with us, Preserves our faith

Today kick starts the anniversary of our final journey with Neville. What started as an self containing disease chickenpox became life threatening leukemia. 

What is anniversary?

1. The annually recurring date of a past event, especially one of historical, national, or personal importance.

2. A celebration commemorating such a date.

Anniversaries are joyous occasions when we thank God for what He has done in our life. What can we be thankful for when we have lost our son? Does it really make sense ?

I have a choice today to either relive the painful memories God allowed in our lives or  be thankful to God for the promises and presence of God which kept us going the past one year. I choose to thank God as, yes during this difficult time we only saw God in control.

  For so long I have been trying to document those promises but have failed as emotions took over. Last year when I started blogging little did I realise it was a covenant between God and me. It was like a revision before a test. It was like God asking me to document my faith and beliefs. A year later when I read them I, m amazed to see how specific God was. If there was one thing God didn't tell me it was He was taking away my son. The last week of Neville's life when his  fever spiked and seemed to keep coming back, when  prayers seem unanswered, it felt God was standing right there beside but He seemed silent.

 For some reason the silence kept echoing Do you trust me and believe I am sovereign and will you allow me to fulfill my plan in your lives? 

Not knowing what lay ahead we submitted and surrendered to God's sovereignty believing in our hearts that He would heal Neville miraculously but Neville died.

As soon as Neville passed away could feel God"s love embracing and gently whispering I could never tell you that I was going to take your son away. My plans are not your plans. My ways are not your ways. They are higher and greater but pleading that He who lead us thus far will lead us till the end will you still trust and follow me. That God has kept His promise and led us the past 8 months.

We are humans, we have cried, we have missed our little son but we also have hope that we will see Neville in eternity. We will run the race so that when our time on earth is over we will hear our Lord saying well done good and faithful servant. God brought so many people in our lives who have told us many things to help us go through our grief.

 Advice from a mother who lost her  year old son about 30 years back." There never goes a day when I don't remember my son. Time never heals but God gives us the grace to go on and God is Good and Sovereign". So as we continue on this journey in life we may not know why God planned only 7 years for Neville but we know that our God is Good and He is Sovereign and He will Lead us. In God's timeline 7 years or 70years really doesn't matter they are only dot but our relationship with God and how we live this life during this dot determines where we will spend our eternity. Death will come knocking any time are we ready to face it?